Paul Fuzz Presents: Flew In From Miami Beach BOAC
Don't know if this has bugged anybody else, but I've found the police response to THE BIGGEST UK HEIST EVER a little OTT/odd; at the risk of sounding naive....it's only money
. I appreciate the scale of the crime & the kidnapping element demand a strong response, but I found the quote 'We're dealing with this like a murder investigation'
-like they were real proud, & felt this was the right way to go about it- insulting, insensitive & insane.
WHY ARE THEY DEALING WITH IT LIKE A MURDER INVESTIGATION?
Nobody died. Nobody was physically hurt. It must have been a harrowing ordeal for those involved, fer sure, but it's still far, far from being a crime comparable with murder, or a drunk hit & run, or rape etc.
This crime does not warrant the same response that, say, Soham did, surely. £50 million ain't all that important in the big scheme.
From a proposed ad campaign for the 'individually numbered' White Album."You're eating breakfast and in exactly forty-nine hours you could be the proud owner of Beatles' album number 1. Or, of course, you might get number 3972, but that's pretty good too".
Show Me The Magic Of Your Hollywood Song
The Baftas. Bit sniffy.
"I say, darlings. I've had a fabulous
idea. Why don't we give those loutish Yanks a jolly good hiding and give every bally award to Brokeback Mountain! When they hear about our delightful ruse those redneck Hollywood homophobes will probably choke on their burger and fries!
And while we're at it, let's get that fabulous
Steven F in to create an atmosphere of open hostility towards LA film culture & an intolerable theatrical loviness which has absolutely nothing to do with MOVIES, and everthing to do with a West End superiority complex which only the most pretentious Anglophile Hollywood star buys into! Invade that,
Steven Fry the Baftas are about 'films that make you think, not films that make you go out and buy the video game...' YO! GEORGE LUCAS! STEVE FRIZZLE JUST DISSED YOU ON LIVE TV LIKE A BITCH! YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED!
Shows how much Fry knows. The Brokeback Mountain X-Box game kicks ass. I just got to Zone 3: Copy The American Beauty Approach To Generating Slow-Burn Oscar Buzz For Vastly Overrated Pseudo-'Art House' Movie Zone.
(While I'm here...hiding behind our theatre heritage is really cowardly. WE ARE BAD AT FILMS. They wheeled on Patrick Stewart, as per, and we're all meant to applaud 'cos the dude's such a great British actor an' all,
as long as we ignore the fact he's been payin' the bills for the last 15 years playing Picard & Prof Xavier in the most mainstream Hollywood movies imaginable, which is absolutely what he should be doin' mind you, hell, he ain't gonna make any bread hanging 'round this rain sodden country's jerkwater 'film industry...' what a snobby, hypocritcal, superior, self-deluded tone the Baftas takes.)
A GIANT CRAB COMES FORTH
GIANT CRAB - A GIANT CRAB COMES FORTH (1968)
Is this the greatest LP title ever?
.1. Not just a Crab, but a GIANT
CRAB! A crab
, for crying out loud. "From the people who brought you ECONOMY SIZED MOLLUSC : GIANT CRAB!"
.2. The portentous, comically grim tone of the title -
Booming, James Earl Jones style voice-of-God: 'Cower in fear, puny mortals! From the darkest depths of Atlantis... A GIANT CRAB COMES FORTH!
.' "Oh my god! This Giant Crab will devour us all!"
Prog-rock genius. Giant things are so much better than their normal sized equivilent, aren't they? Perhaps all bands should 'go large.' "At number one, with 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor': Giant Monkey!"
Reverend David A. Noebel"Lets make sure four mop-headed anti-Christ beatniks don't destroy America."
Dean of the Christian Crusade Anti-Communist Youth University, and author of classic 1965 pamplhlet 'Communism, Hypnotism And The Beatles' (see right). Not a big Fabs fan. Was quoted in Newsweek as saying that the Beatles "were propelling U.S. youngsters into an excited state in which they would do whatever they were told, and that when the revolution was ripe, the Communists would put the Beatles on television on order to hypnotise U.S. youth." Noebel was certain that the Beatles were planting subliminal satanic message in their music, citing Ob Li Di Ob Li Da (wherein Macca can be heard to intone "I devil, he devil" if played backwards) and paranoid psychotic's fave Helter Skelter, which supposedly includes the line 'I like Satan, yeah.'
Noebel's most famous work was The Marxist Minstrels, which was later developed into a spoken word LP, itself now something of a cult item.
"This book proves that the riots in Berkely... the insurrection at Watts... were in part inspired by the jungle beat Communist planned music, and personally directed by the "generals" of this ungodly "communist music" crowd."
The issue of Noebel's pamphlet and their part in a red plot was raised at a number of press conferences in the US, with the Beatles responding with typical dry humour:
Paul "How could we be communists? We're the four biggest capitalists in the world!"
I give the right-on Rev Noebel a fruit & nut bar rating of: 8
Listening to National Radio 1 post-Brits I've been struck by the number of dee-jays (esp. black hole of comedy Chris Moyles & The Blandtons aka Colin & Edith) who've 'dropped' a track by Brigadeer General James Horatio Blunt and commented afterwards 'well, you know we're not the biggest fans of James, but after meeting him at the Brits (and here it comes)
YOU GOTTA SAY HE'S ACTUALLY
A REALLY NICE GUY.'
Like they're surprised.
What did they expect? 'Well, jeez, I went to interview him and I thought he was gonna maybe stab me or mug me or start murdering kittens or yell obscene racial slurs or something, but, hey, turns out James Blunt is ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE GUY.'
James Blunt: A Nice Guy. Shocking. I would have presumed from his post-London bombings don't worry-everythings-ok pop as pot pourri baige-o-rama music desinged with the implicit intention of offending absolutely nobody anywhere that he would be some sort of insane monster. I mean, I could understand it if they were talking about somebody whose reputation for evil preceeds them; 'Was interviewing Hitler after the Brits, never been a big fan, but he was a actually nice guy' or something, but Blunt? The guy's all about the nice. He's Joe Nice. Being nice is is whole thing. He holidays in Nice. His favourite biscuit is the Nice biscuit. His favourite progressive rock band are The Nice. And so on.
There is also the implication that his being 'nice' goes some way to excusing his awful music. It doesn't. He could be Mother freakin' Teresa, it still wouldn't matter. Infact, I saw Mother Teresa play at Guildfest in 1992, and she sucked too.
Apple Free Think Space
"Here's Another Place You Can Go..."
A brief explanation of what the hell I'm doing...
On May 14th 1968 The Beatles launched Apple Corps Ltd, a typically late 60's experiment in what McCartney described at the New York Press launch as "hippie capitalism." By 1967 The Beatles' financial situation was such that any further money they made would be instantly subtracted in tax. They were advised that they had around £2,000,000 to play with, and that if it was not to end up in the Taxman's pocket it would have to be invested. Thus Beatles Ltd became Apple Corps Ltd.
Paul: "We want to be able to help other people but without doing it like charity and without seeming like patrons of the arts. We always had to go to the big man on our knees...and most of these companies are so big, and so out of touch with people like us who just want to sing or make films, that everyone has a bad time. We are just trying to set up a good organisation, not some great fat institution that doesn't care."
All four Beatles became company Presidents. Apple operated out of 3 Savile Row, and incorporated at various times Apple Electronics, Apple Films Ltd, Apple Music Publishing, Apple Retail, Apple Tailoring, Apple Television, Apple Wholesale and Apple Records. An avant garde/spoken word label, Zapple, was scrapped after only two releases. In addition to these subsiduaries there were many Apple-branded enterprises, such as Apple School, which never developed beyond the conceptual stage. Perhaps their most famous enterprise was the ill-fated Apple Boutique of 94 Baker Street, a 'head' shop which lost £200,000 in under a year.
'Flew in ftom Miami Beach BOAC' is the first lyric of 'Back In The USSR,' the first track of the first LP released on the Apple label - The Beatles 'The Beatles'
- known to the world thereafter as The White Album. My blog will not concern itself purely with Apple/White Album/Altamont-Hells Angels-Vietnam-Nixon-Kent State-Manson dark 'n' dangerous end of '60s related ramalama, but I needed a theme to orientate my blog around and you gotta go with what you know; for better or worse, in my case this means late-period Beatles & Death Of The Sixties. While I'm fascinated by The Beatles entire career, over time I have become particularly obsessed with the post-Peppers unravelling of the group, and the troubled historical context in which it was played out and in many ways reflected. I figured it might be cool if I presented my blog as yet another Apple subsiduary - Blapple, if you will - which I could produce in the Apple spirit. Seeing as Apple is the most litigious company ever this may prove to be a rather foolish exercise, but at least if they bring legal action against me it'll mean I've written myself a little part in The Beatles story.
Aside from the Apple angle the blog's gonna cover all sortsa wooly liberal cultural boohockey; film, telly, music, politics, Bush-baiting yadda yadda yadda, same garbage you get everywhere. Anyhoo, thanks for listening, I'm still getting the hang of this blogging thang and it's probably gonna be a while 'fore I get it all running smoothly...a little like Apple.
Apple Free Think Space
THE BEATLES - THE BEATLES
The Beatles -The Beatles (aka The White Album)
The first Beatles LP to be released on the Apple label.
Recorded at Abbey Road Studios, 3 Abbey Road, St John's Wood, London, NW8.
32 tracks were recorded between 30/5/06 and 17/10/06; all but two - 'What's The New Mary Jane' and 'Not Guilty'- feature on the double LP.
SIDE 1: Back In The USSR, Dear Prudence / Glass Onion / Ob-Li-Di Ob-Li-Da, /Wild Honey Pie / The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill / While My Guitar Gently Weeps / Happiness Is A Warm Gun.
SIDE 2: Martha My Dear / I'm So Tired / Blackbird / Piggies / Rocky Raccoon / Don't Pass Me By / Why Don't We Do It In The Road / I Will, Julia.
SIDE 3: Birthday / Yer Blues / Mother Nature's Son / Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey / Sexy Sadie / Helter Skelter / Long, Long, Long.
SIDE4: Revolution 1 / Honey Pie / Savoy Truffle / Cry, Baby, Cry, / Revolution 9 / Goodnight
It is The Beatles only double LP.
No singles were released from it at the time.
Charles Manson didn't get it.
But this blog does.